| Series 1
Episode 1 - Whose Life is
it Anyway? 15th September 1997
Gary overhears his wife, Lisel, talking to someone about a book she is
translating. He thinks she is talking to Michael Aspel, and that he will
be the next candidate for 'This Is Your Life'.
Episode
1 Script
Episode 2 - Changing Revs
- 22th September 1997
Gary wants to buy a local church and turn it into a go-kart track.
Episode
2 Script
Episode 3 - Where Were
They Then? - 29th September 1997
The old Ferny Heath football team gather together for a reunion photo
organised by a national newspaper.
Episode
3 Script
Episode 4 - Monkey
Business - 6th October 1997
Gary buys a small zoo and has plans to turn it into a theme park.
Episode
4 Script
Episode 5 - Family
Matters - 13th October 1997
Gary gets thinking about his roots. He contacts his Mother to try to
organise a family reunion. Meanwhile, at Ferny Heath FC it is time for
the player of the year award.
Episode
5 Script
Episode 6 - A Matter of
Degree - 20th October 1997
Gary is given an honorary PhD by the university, but what is the cost?
Episode
6 Script
Series 2
Episode 1 - Walk Right
Back
Gary sets out on a sponsored walk. 100 miles in 2 days. He says it is to
raise money for a retirement home, but really it is to advertise a new
thermal tracksuit. All seems to be going well, until the blisters set
in. And he didn't bargain for the wrong turnings, the vengeful husband
and Vince's magic sponge!
Episode
1 Script
Episode 2 - Ghost Story
Gary wins an award as local sportswriter of the year. However, what most
people do not know is that his regular column is really written by Des,
a ghost writer. There is trouble the next week when, instead of writing
about Stoke City, Des writes a controversial piece which puts everyone's
backs up, including his staff and Lisel, his German wife. The last straw
is when he gets a complaint from the Palace, and it is not Crystal
Palace!
Episode
2 Script
Episode 3 - The Good
Samaritan
This week we actually see Gary playing football. He scores 37 goals in a
charity match, Ferny Heath vs Old Ferny Heath. Gary overrules Beverley
on a First Aid matter when the opposing goalie gets injured. Gary is to
rue his efforts later when he is sued for actual bodily harm. Mark gets
one of his school chums to defend Gary in court, but Gary decides that
it would be best to conduct the defence himself. He's probably right...
Episode 4 - All In The
Game
Gary has been offered a job with the BBC World Cup Commentary Team
headed by the great Des Lynam. The new Head of Sport suggests that he
meets with an image consultant to tone down his rough edges! After
seeing off his main rival, Gary McAllister, he manages to bluff his way
into the team. He is horrified to learn that instead of commentating on
the England matches, he has Group F, which is Iran, USA, Yugoslavia and
Germany. With the first match being between Iran and America, some tact
and diplomacy is required. I'm sure they've got the right man for the
job.
Episode 5 - Injury Time
Gary does a bit too much during his circuit training and the next day
his back goes while he is bending down for a chocolate finger. But at
least he finds a use for his new gadget, a remote controlled serving
trolley, he uses it as a remote controlled stretcher! Meanwhile, Mark
buys a failing publishing company and intends to sell it off for housing
development. Their most famous comic was "The Rocket" starring
Gary's childhood hero, Tommy Street. Gary takes over and saves the day,
and "The Rocket", and actually gets to meet Tommy, while also
putting a useful plug for his pork pie business.
Episode 6 - Who's That
Girl?
For a while now, Gary has noticed a young girl who is turning up at all
his public appearances. He and thinks he has a stalker and is quite
flattered, actually. Well it makes a change from grannies, doesn't it?
The girl, Katie, finally plucks up the courage to speak and visits Gary
and Dave in the office. She produces a photo taken at a club nineteen
years before of Gary and Dave with her mother. It appears that she is
Gary's daughter! Gary goes on the defensive, thinking that she is just
after his money. When a DNA test is suggested he accepts, but when the
doctor doesn't recognise him, he gets Dave to give the sample instead.
He and Dave are in real trouble when the results come through and it
proves that ... Well, congratulations, Gary!
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